Functioning Dysfunctional

Our family is considered as a broken one since my father abandoned us and had his second family (and we’re the legit). That was because of my parents’ personal reasons to address. They had their own, of course. But as foretold, my father was the reason because of adultery he has committed against my mother. Some kinda usual but it really hurts especially when you see two persons you both love separate because they have fallen out of love.

Up to this time, we are still “broken” but lemme state this as dysfunctional as what they call it.

My father has his second family with their two little boys living in the countryside.

I, of course happy haha is with my beloved mother and two older brothers and with my grandparents, (but my lolo died last February 13, 2007) aunts and uncles and cousins.

As you see, I am the youngest in the legit setting xD but in reality with my father’s illegitimate children, I am at the middle and the only girl.

Living in a somewhat unfix set-up is at first, unruly and unstable but that was just before. And even up to this moment, I cannot avoid envying my friends with a complete family and a stable living because of parents who are in love with each other and thus providing whatever the family needs.

After the tragic event (that was July 5, 2003) which can be counted as 9 years already that had passed, I’m proud to say that we’ve moved on. I believe it really takes time and courage to forgive and forget that’s why I am proud that I was that forgiving and forgetful? Haha. Sure enough.

With these 9 years of ups and downs, my family has lived in Davao with providence from our extended family. My aunt who works at Saudi as a Dentist and my uncle who works at various shipping companies as a seaman and my grandparents who provided even a little. Our education continued because of their help because my mother’s living is not that enough to sustain our necessities. With my mother’s, she only had a small-scale business of Banana Buy & Sell to at least support. My father seldom sends money, only if he is asks. I and my brothers studied in private schools with well-provided necessities. We experienced events which molded us to whoever we are now. We have grown as individuals with our unique characters because of those what happened in the past and because of those people who have become part of our lives.

On the other hand, my father with his second family has perhaps lived a good life at a span of 9 years. They also had their small business and my father continued to work as a Policeman with good integrity (I know that, he never corrupts nor disembark other’s rights).

With all what had transpired in that long period, I believe we have truly moved on because we are happy. Back then, we had plenty of dialogues- either in a casual conversation or in a judicial one. We had court hearings and summons we dressed by which were all unlikely because even as a broken family, that was hurting filing a case against your father. But that was all that we can do because he never supported us in a continuous basis.

Still, understanding and compassion grow stiffer and stronger because after all he was our father. He may have abandoned us but I firmly believe that he has never forgotten us nor forsaken us although we lost contact for many years.

I can say we are a functioning dysfunctional family because despite one another’s flaws and the pain we have inflicted to one another with all the tragedy we are a family still functioning and striving to reach our fullest. We have forgiven and forgotten and we are now rebuilding the family we have somehow lost if not as a whole family again but at least building the relationship. Now, my mother and father are friends and we have already accepted our younger siblings even it hurts me a bit that I am not anymore the youngest. Happiness is raging on!